i hate myself so much right now omg :’(
+dude my bug phobia is so fucking bad, tonight my mom found a bug in my hair and i cried for like 10 minutes ahhh fuck
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Anonymous asked: How can you teach sex ed if you're not 18?
i do what i wanna do, age aint no limitation when you’re the dolphin queen
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so as most of you know, last year I spent 2 months traveling through Europe with a lady named Laura. during that time she became one of my best friends in a really powerful way.
we fought like hell, but we spent 8 weeks constantly together, dealing with tons of stress and crazy shit, and having beautiful adventures. together we hitch hiked across france, had a fling with an italian bartender (yes, both of us), made out in the alleys of Venice, wandered around germany drunk at 4 am, spent days on trains, climbed a mountain in spain, and fell in love.
we had screaming matches all the time, too. she used to get mad and walk so far ahead of me while we were trying to get somewhere that i’d have to run to keep up. I’ve never had a relationship with anyone so intense; we drove each other batshit insane but we were as close as was possible.
I adore her, and when we had to say goodbye at the airport before I flew home to the US we both cried like fuckin babies, after sleeping on the airport floor together for 5 hours. I had just kind of given up on us ever seeing each other again, and she just called me to tell me that she’s visiting the US this summer and staying with me for a few weeks.
I AM SO HAPPY I COULD DIE!! my Laura!! <3_<3 she is so fuckin special to me oh my god. I can’t believe I get to see her again.
+I just got some of the best news ever!! My heart is swelling, I am so so happy
+this is my life motto/theme song
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so i’ve been teachin this sex ed class, right? and i was trying to think of something to make this weeks class extra fun, and I decided: condom olympics
there’s gonna be a bunch of contests to see who can safely and perfectly put a condom on a banana in the shortest amount of time, after spinnin around and getting really dizzy, in the dark, etc etc
the winner wins a bunch of condoms (not that most of the kids in my class will need them since most of them aren’t having sex buuuuut they can play with them like balloons or somethin)
and the best teacher award goes to:
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